Beyond the To-Do List: Finding Balance This Holiday Season

The holidays often arrive with excitement and anticipation, and sometimes, a little too much of both. Between family gatherings, gift lists, and end-of-year responsibilities, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. Robert Ouimette, LMSW, Clinical Director of the JFCS East Valley Healthcare Center, says the key to a calmer season starts with realistic expectations.

“Common sources of anxiety during the holidays include overcommitment of time, unhealthy family dynamics, financial stress, and loneliness,” Ouimette says. “The attempt to create the perfect ‘Hallmark holiday’ is often met with disappointment.” He encourages people to stay mindful of their limits and to protect their energy. “Overcommitment during this short season will quickly steal your joy,” he adds. “It’s important to be realistic about time limitations and incorporating holiday events into already demanding schedules.”

Keep Your Calendar and Your Expectations Manageable

The holiday season can make it tempting to say yes to everything, from work parties to volunteer events. But Ouimette reminds us that setting boundaries is an act of self-care. “It’s okay to decline social events,” he says. “When you do, consider making plans with those important to you after the holiday season, when schedules are less chaotic.” He recommends setting limits with kindness and intention. “Boundaries can be set gently by choosing the right time and considering others’ needs,” he explains. “They’re meant to benefit everyone involved.”

Practical Ways to Manage Stress in the Moment

Even with the best planning, stressful moments can still happen. Before a big family gathering or a long day of travel, Ouimette suggests preparing a few tools to help you stay grounded. “Family gatherings can sometimes be overwhelming,” he says. “Limit overthinking and negative self-talk. Practicing mindfulness or meditation can help you stay present.” It also helps to have a break strategy. Take a walk, step outside for fresh air, or find a quiet space to recharge.

Also, remember the basics: eat well, stay hydrated, and avoid using substances to cope. And if you’re traveling, plan ahead. “The holiday season is the busiest travel time of the year,” Ouimette says. “Allow extra time for delays and bumps in the road.”

Reach Out to Those Who May Be Struggling

While the holidays are often a time of joy, they can also amplify feelings of loss, loneliness, or stress. Ouimette encourages people to look out for loved ones who may be having a hard time.

“Many situations such as divorce, loss of a loved one, or a new medical diagnosis can make the season difficult,” he says. “Reach out, acknowledge what they’re going through, and invite them to be part of your activities. Don’t assume they’ll say no.” Simple gestures can make a big difference. “Spending time together can be healing,” he adds. “Even volunteering side by side can help lift both your spirits.”

When Stress Becomes Something More

It’s normal to feel stressed or tired during the holidays, but persistent sadness or hopelessness may be signs of something more serious. “If you or someone you love feels persistently sad, hopeless, or loses interest in activities they usually enjoy, it may be time to seek help,” Ouimette says. Warning signs can include withdrawing from others, changes in appetite or sleep, loss of motivation, or neglecting personal care. Reaching out for professional support can make a meaningful difference and help you or your loved one find a path back to stability and hope.

A Healthier, Kinder Holiday Season

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By setting boundaries, staying grounded, and reaching out to others, you can create a season that feels balanced and full of purpose. If you or someone you know is struggling, Jewish Family & Children’s Service offers counseling and mental health support across the Valley. Call 602-279-7655 or visit jfcsaz.org. For immediate assistance, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline – it’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.